You have told me to stand by you, and I really want to,
but sometimes you make it hard for me to stand up.
I spent so many nights, crying alone in the darkness,
begging you to hold me, but getting nothing in return.
Needing a shoulder, a hug or a friend,
instead, I cried myself to sleep.
Dug deep inside for my own strength,
finding just enough to survive, knowing I had to for me.
In the light of day I tried to hide the tears,& the bruises,
I hid them under sunglasses, or stayed inside for days.
Sometimes I didn't have anything to hide,you were smart
enough not to leave a mark,or I became smart enough to know,
when to swallow my pride, save myself, and walk away.
Sometimes, the worst bruises were invisible,
you etched them onto my soul,
where only me and my God could see.
I listened, never saying a word, while you convinced
everyone, including you and me,
that it was my fault, and I deserved it.
My only rewards for my silence, were more bruises.
angry hurting words, untrue accusations, or
a guilt ridden gift, meant to make it all better;
but digging deeper into my soul, and always
a tearful reminder of a past you wouldn't let go.
I can't go on this way, hurting at my expense.
If you want me to stand by you, care for our family, cook,
clean, and do the things you expect me to do,
then be there for me.
Don't hurt me with words, cut me down or laugh at me.
And the next time you get angry, and want to hit me;
Stop, and think...
I might not be there next time.
I might walk away a winner.
Somewhere I have a friend
who has walked this road already.
I Love you, but don't break me down.
